


would you lie with me (and just forget the world)

by captainhandsome



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stand Alone, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, implied depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhandsome/pseuds/captainhandsome
Summary: (implied depression)Steve Rogers isn't doing well, Tony's trying to be a better boyfriend.Or:Tony helps Steve.





	would you lie with me (and just forget the world)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from chasing cars by snow patrol, i reccomend listening to it while reading, enjoy!
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nohalfway)

“Have you seen Steve?” Natasha asked him without any preamble, suddenly appearing in the kitchen. Ignoring Tony's grumble about cat bells and alarms, she pushed on, “We usually go out on Wednesdays and you know it's not like him to stand me up.”

Tony looked up from the sandwich he was making, _It was Wednesday?_  
Damn, he's been in his workshop way longer than he thought.

“I, I don't know,” _jesus_ he was a bad boyfriend, “We're not attached by the hip, you know that right.” Tony's instinctive defensive snark took over, but Natasha saw right through him.

“Tony,” she said, slightly softer, “where is your boyfriend?”

Tony looked away, _god_ , he was meant to better than this, even all the times when he was overseas he’d still manage to talk or text Steve at least once everyday, the only times they didn’t was when Steve had a mission and he wasn’t allowed any communications because of ‘security reasons’.

Tony remembers mocking Fury about the first no-comm mission, a week after they had started dating, but he would rather have steve alive and never lay eyes on him again over Steve being dead because of him, just because he couldn’t go a day without him. 

Jesus, had he fallen for him, hard. The tiny, tiny part of his brain was terrified, of being let down, again, of being betrayed, again. And that part of his brain wanted to run as far as possible. But he loved him so so _so_ much and he was still a selfish man, he wanted him in his life so so so much more than the safety of knowing nobody could hurt him.

* * *

Tony found Steve on the first try - on their floor, and literally on the floor.

He's in their bedroom, with what looks like every blanket ever wrapped around him and an abandoned sketchbook and Starkpad lying a foot away from him. 

He wasn't doing much, just watching the rain run down the huge ceiling to floor window.

The sight breaks Tony's heart a little bit.

As he comes closer to the Steve-blanket mountain, he can hear the faint strains of music.

 _Alan Silvestri_ , his mind helpfully supplies when he's close enough to hear Steves breathing.

“Steve,” he says softly.

He twists in the blankets, trying to face Tony. His eyes are rimmed with red and his usually bright, bright blue eyes that make Tony just a little weak, were dulled to a stormy, blue-tinted grey.

“Hey” Steve manages to say, in a croaky whisper, attempting to smile at Tony, maybe going for reassuring.

Tony wasn't buying it.

“Steve” he started, moving to sit crossed-legged in front of him. He reached up and cupped his face in his hands, smiling softly at him when Steve leaned into his touch.

“Are you ok?”  
Steve took a steadying breath, opened his mouth, seemingly thought better of it then shook his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”  
He shrugged.

“Do you want company?”

“Yeah,” his voice was barely a whisper, “can-can you stay?”  
He asked him so, so hesitatingly and uncharacteristically unsure of himself, as if he thought Tony would say no.

“Yeah, of course, baby, always, you want to move to bed?”  
Steve nodded, looking up at Tony with adoration and hope and pure love in his eyes. 

And maybe a little surprise, as if he’d thought Tony would say no.

Steve lifted himself up in one, mostly smooth motion, taking all his blankets with him. Tony guided him to their bed and helped him lift his blankets onto it.

They maneuvered themselves so Tony was lying on their bed on his back and Steve had his head on his chest, they both had their arms around each other, Tony was lightly running his fingers through Steve’s hair and the other one was in Steve’s, not really holding hands, just touching and feeling, Steve was drawing random, trailing patterns across the nearest expanse of Tony’s skin.

After a while, maybe a minute, maybe thirty, Steve spoke up, in the same quiet, slightly disused voice, “Thank you, Tony, I know you have important work and I’m sorry for th-”

“Steve, Steve baby, don’t be sorry, ever, no work I have will ever be more important than you, honey. If you ever need me, baby, I’ll be there, always.”

He bent his neck slightly to kiss Steve’s forehead, lingering there for a few seconds. Steve turned his head and pressed a kiss to the scarred mass of Tony’s chest, saying so, _so_ much more than he could ever convey with words.

They stayed like that for another liquid measure of time, wrapped in each other, occasionally pressing kisses onto skin, sometimes trailing fingers, sometimes light, light massages, never really entirely still.

All the sound in their room was limited solely to the rhythmic _pitter-patter_ of rain drops, their steady breathing, and the film music they never turned off, until Steve spoke up, in a whisper, not wanting to break their little bubble. 

“I, I’m not meant to be like this anymore, not after the serum, I used to get like this, before, but they told me that the serum would fix every illness I had, but then, now, I,” he swallowed and turned his face into Tony’s chest, the rest coming out in a half-mumble, “sometimes it feels like I never left the ice, I, sometimes it’s numb, sometimes I miss everyone so fucking much, sometimes I just want to sleep for another 70 years” he paused, “ _fuck_ , Tony, I’m so, _so_ goddamn sorry, I, most days I can keep it down and it’s not so bad, and you make me want to stay in this, in this century and I want to want to but I, I just can’t want to and I don’t know why and _why can’t I-_ ” he choked and Tony felt a few tears on his chest. 

“Tony, I, you don’t need this you have-” He tried to get up, moving away from Tony. Tony didn’t try to trap him but kept his hands around him, still stroking him. “Steve, Steve honey, you can talk to me about anything, nothing I ever have will ever mean you can’t talk to me. You’re not a burden, Steve, baby, I love you.” 

Steve stopped struggling and collapsed on back Tony, retaking his previous position. “Tony, I’m sor-”

“Steve, baby, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s not your fault, you’re allowed to be sad and numb and everything you feel, you may be a super-soldier but there’s still a human there, just because Captain America can’t be, doesn’t mean Steve Rogers can’t, Steve, honey you can.

”

Steve hummed, stayed quiet for a bit, mulling over Tony’s words and then lifted himself up again, but this time, to press a kiss to Tony’s lips, “Thank you, Tony, for staying, I love you so, so much.” he whispered against his lips. Tony kissed him back, “I love you so, so much too, honey.”

They traded kisses back and forth, trailing down necks, across shoulders, not really going any further but not wanting to, staying in their bubble, not noticing the rain stopping or the sky growing darker and darker until they were highlighted by the moonlight, silver light filling the room, reflecting off them. 

Tony pulled back slightly and tilted his head to the side, his undivided focus on Steve, studying him, his marks given to him by Tony, already fading and barely visible in the moonlight, his eyes, reflecting the silver, enhancing the blue, still a little grey but infinitely bluer and brighter than before, shining with love, pure love.

 _God_ , he was so, so _beautiful_ , he loved him _so fucking much._

“Steve, Steve, baby, I love you, I love you _so much_ , honey.” 

Steve smiled softly at him and pressed another kiss to his jaw and rested his forehead on Tony’s shoulder, he pressed kisses along his collarbone and neck, whispering ‘ _I love you_ ’s to him over and over and over.

They carried on until they both fell asleep, when the moon was at the edge of the horizon, lips slightly swollen, light marks littered across skin, arms around each other, not going anywhere.

* * *

Tony knew that just because Steve was maybe fine now didn’t mean that he was going to be stable forever and he knew that he needed to get him the help he needed, but for now, he was going to stay here, with him, for as long as he needed.

Steve didn’t know why the serum had fixed everything but his head or why it was him that had to be sent to another century or why Tony, in all his wonderful, show-stealing, glory, in all his indescribable, captivating energy would choose him, but he did know that given the choice, everytime, every single time, he would choose to stay here, to stay with Tony, if he’d let him.

**Author's Note:**

> that was meant to be a Lot fluffier than it turned out but it turned into some type of projection
> 
> i hope you enjoyed that, please leave comments and kudos!!
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nohalfway)


End file.
